How to Handle Change?

Why are we scared of change?

I would like to discuss change with you. Why is it so difficult and scary?

People keep talking about comfort zone, the need to expand it and how to get out of it, I am sure you have also heard it.

Easier said than done.

We can notice the need for change in many things - the unhealthy foods we crave, relationships that don’t make us smile anymore, staying up late or scrolling mindlessly on social media instead of getting a good night sleep or spending your time more productively.

Do we actually need to change?

Do we all need to be the best versions of ourselves? And if so then why?

Just because it feels better?

It makes you feel more alive and as you are spending your days more meaningfully, following your purpose in life.. doing things that don’t make you happy and don’t make you feel like you are moving forward is usually something that diminishes your overall well being.

Happiness comes from progress. If you feel like you are moving forward makes you feel better than staying in status quo.

Change is an interesting word - according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary 'it implies making either an essential difference often amounting to a loss of original identity or a substitution of one thing for another'. Could it be that we are afraid of losing that 'original identity'?

Why do we stay stuck in our ways that are not serving us? Even when we know that it’s not the best for us?

Is the fear of unknown, the uncertainty of possible outcomes of change better than the ‘devil we know’?

Staying in the same place even if it doesn’t serve us anymore may give us some sense of security. Unknown is scary. And most of us are scared of loneliness. So we stay with people who don’t make us smile anymore, who don’t value us who doesn’t make us feel valued, loved, cherished. Because this unhappy place might feel safer than being alone. I recommend starting with small steps. Just tiny baby steps to change. Change one small thing at a time. One thing a day or you can even practice one small things every day for a week. And then the next.

Start by taking some time to be alone. Avoid distractions and just be with yourself. Just a few minutes to sit with yourself and to listen to yourself. Set a timer for 5 minutes in the beginning. And then increase it when you become more comfortable with being alone and facing your fear of loneliness.

While you sit with yourself don’t force your mind to silence, just start to pay attention to what you are thinking about? And try to sense what are you feeling inside. Let that feeling be, acknowledge it and if it is a feeling of unease, discomfort, anxiety.. I know it is difficult to just sit with it. It would be much easier to call or text a friend or do something to distract yourself like scrolling on social media or watching Netflix. Or reach for the chocolate or other unhealthy snack. What you are doing this way, is telling yourself that you are there for yourself, you provide comfort for your own discomfort, own your feelings and become stronger this way. Don't forget to be patient with yourself, one little baby step at a time!

Just try it! It gets easier each time!

You are welcome to reach out to discuss your specific situation and current challenges and we can schedule a career or relationship counseling session.